Top 5 things we might misunderstand about men, sometimes.

Boys.. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Okay people, I’m not going to say I’m an expert in relationships or something. And you all can stop assuming I had a string of ex-boyfriends to be able to relate to this post.

This is mainly gathered by my experiences and my friends. Sometimes women have difficulty in understanding men, or trying to get along with them. As a result, they end up breaking the relationship over something which could have easily been solved – from the start. The worse is, when you break up with someone ‘cos of a trait you dislike, and the next boyfriend and the following one all possess the same traits. Okkk men, relax.. I’m not saying ‘ALL YOU MEN ARE THE SAME! UGH!’ I’m just sayin’ all of us are unique, but of course the same gender harbour some exclusive attributes which the other is not aware about. So let’s start!

1) You catch your men staring at a beautiful girl, while you’re standing beside him

Check this out, even Obama does it!

Okay, let’s face it. Men are attracted to visuals and therefore are very captivated to beauty. And in their eyes, beauty may mean many things, even curves included. So it’s not their fault that their eyes are fixed on that girl. But of course, that behaviour can be controlled if they want to.

Most women start jumping, crying and screaming in that situation. But the best way to handle is to approach this subject when the both of you are happy, and in a “Hey I’m in cool, cool” mood. Just try to tell him that you understand that it’s normal for men to want to check out these women, but remind them it makes you uncomfortable. Especially when the girl looks at you.. And the look actually means ‘Hey check it out, Ms. Fugly, Your boy thinks I AM hot.’ Let him know that he can check girls out, but remind him to do it in a subtle manner. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, if he really wants to be with you in a long-term basis.

P.S. It just shows he is normal, when he looks at attractive men. You just have to be on your guard if it’s an attractive man he was looking at!

2) You just had a rough day at work, and call him up to vent your frustrations. Anyone in this situation, would like to have themselves heard, and it would feel great to hear some comforting words afterwards. But instead of hearing you, he cuts through halfway and goes on about how delicious the lamp chop he had for lunch was.

Whatttt. I didn't know....

I know, at this point you will feel like taking a cab straight to wherever he is just to poke his eyes with a pair of chopsticks. But relax ladies! It’s all normal. Guys, especially those who never really had an experience getting along with girls are never good listeners. Reason is simple. When something negative happens in their life, they pretty much keep it to themselves. Even if they share it with their guy friends, those guys would probably go ‘Eh fuck you la! You deserve it! Hahaha. K relax la brudder.. Can we go have beer now?’ So they don’t need listeners, and never had an opportunity to be one for a long time. It will take a lot of time and effort on your part to guide them and let them know what kind of response you were actually expecting. I would suggest hanging up first, and once you’ve cooled off, call them back and share your thoughts.

But ladies… Please be more cautious on the kind of information you share with your man. They’re least interested to know details which don’t weigh of any importance. Don’t tell him about details on how the work flow is in your office. Try to summarise your stories as much as you can, as generally men don’t have the patience, and they will get distracted if your story is boring. If you really have to share something which you know is going to bore your man out, dial your Best Friend Forever. I’m sure she will be have better things to say and will keep you more entertained.

3) Your boyfriend called you out for dinner on Friday. You called him out for a movie on Saturday. It’s Sunday, you’re feeling bored but your boyfriend chooses to rest at home.

Boredddd.

In this situation, some girls will choose to go over to his place to spend the Sunday with him again, since they have no plans. But I will strongly discourage that, and I have two simple reasons for that.

a) Your guy needs some space. Unless he seems okay about it, your guy probably has some reason for not wanting to meet you on Sunday. We have to respect that and let him have some family time.
b) If you are going to ask him out time and again, he’s going to think you’re too clingy or attention seeking and his attraction for you is going to depreciate. And that’s the last thing we want, if we’re in a relationship with that person, right?

4) You both just had a misunderstanding on the phone. He wants to hang up when the conversation is getting heated but you would prefer to talk things out immediately.

Talk to me now, I say!

The guy knows about his temper, and that’s precisely why he asks for some time to cool off. Unless you want him to start hurling vulgarities at you, just agree to end the conversation there.

I know a lot of girls who will start to screech on the phone and go. “NO! Tell me now! No, I want to settle it now! Why did you throw the basketball on my baby brother’s head!” Just don’t. Wait for him to call you back, and try to settle it down in a mature manner. Trust me, the last thing a guy wants to hear on the phone is his girl screaming. You scream, and your value diminishes a little more.

5) They start to control the way you dress and ask you to stop revealing the skin you used to parade.

"Why aren't you wearing your cardigan, baby?"

I totally feel the men have their reasons for asking a girl to start dressing decently. Firstly, if they’re serious about a girl, they would want to feel good bringing her around. If that point, you’re dressed skimpy, people might mistake you to be someone whom he has pure monetary relationship with. Secondly, it’s natural for humans to get possessive over things they adore. And it’s normal for him to restrict you from doing what appears bad in his eyes.

To me, I feel that if a guy feels proud of other men gawking at his girl’s skin, he’s an attention seeker. And these guys who likes their women to dress skimpy are generally those who are give more priority to external beauty in a relationship, so don’t be alarmed if he stops loving you when you start to expand during your maternity!

Of course if your man is asking you to travel everywhere in a sweatshirt with trackpants, especially in a sunny island like Singapore, that guy is probably psycho! Take him to the nearest psychiatrist if you still want to be with him.

That’s the 5 things I have compiled for now. Will update more regularly when I have the time. Sorry for disappointing you with my dilatory updates. Will improve… Ok?

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