If you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure don’t deserve me at my best.

24 Mar

Haven’t been in a very good mood of late. I don’t understand why must all things just come at one time.
Career wise, I’ve found a very good job. But I just am unsure if this is my cup of tea. I know very well that the first factor to ensure a good career growth is to have a personal interest in whatever you’re doing. But sadly, I don’t feel the ‘vibe/s’ yet.
Moving on, I’m pretty much stressed on some personal issues. Your loved ones are the ones who should be there for you when you’re at your lowest, but this is the same very point when people are stepping me to watch me fall. It hurts when these are the people you considered close to you. These people don’t understand how their actions affects others, but oh well. Maybe I deserve all this shit.
I’ve not been sleeping well, so don’t mind if you think I’m blabbering here, or if you manage to catch a few typos here and there. Please ignore me, I sincerely need to vent.
I just don’t seem to understand life, or the people around me. I may be brutally honest and frank, and this may not be a very positive trait to many, but I sincerely prefer it if people tell me their thoughts upfront to me, to my face. I don’t understand why this seems to be an issue for many. They hide their thoughts and feelings and keep it to themselves. They pretend they’re fine with the way things are going, and suddenly when a small spark starts, a whole eruption follows. And then, you realise that they’ve been faking the times with you. They’ve not been that pleased after all.
Money. Money is the root of all evil, and trust me, no one can hate money as much as I do now. I’ve seen it spoiling so many people’s lives, and now it’s playing it’s part in mine. I don’t ask for money, but somehow it just comes and messes up my life.
I’m speechless. How much of trauma do I go through in such a short period?
Nowadays, simple traits are so hard to expect.
*P.S. I know it all sounds complicated. Fuck it.. I don’t even understand myself.
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2 Responses to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure don’t deserve me at my best.”

  1. becky March 26, 2009 at 10:59 am #

    Gaya darling… Becky’s thought!!

    Whatever you dwell upon in your mind, you give power to. So of course it makes sense to focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Yet there are many ways in which the things you don’t want can sneak into your thinking.

    Worry and doubt focus your thinking on what you don’t want. Rather than worrying about the bad things that might happen, direct your actions toward making positive things happen.

    Anger is one more way to get your thinking negatively directed. Rather than getting angry about what you don’t like, use that energy to give you determination for what you want to achieve.

    Keep your mind positively focused on the good things that life can offer. Those things will grow stronger and more abundant in your world.


  2. sambopritz March 27, 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    marupadiyummm vanthuthangaiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa counsellorrrrrr Becky!!!!!!!!!!!

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